2010 Funniest TV quotes

Here they are! 2010’s funniest tv quotes. Granted I haven’t seen every single show out there, but of those that I have, here are my favorite of the year.

“Together we’re like Ghandi….I’m Skinny, and your Tan” — Better Off Ted

“Leonard, wake up, you are missing many excellent super-hero quips” — The Big Bang Theory

“I’m not really necessary. The last time I said that, I was in a three-way with two of the Backstreet Boys” — Jenna, 30Rock

“The Parade was excellent…Angela Lansbury was the Grand Marshal. Good Times, she Wrote.” — Phil, Modern Family

“Oh, you’re exquisite….you must let me paint you” — How I Met Your Mother

“The microwave is for pizza rolls…the oven is for bulky storage!”…The Middle

“My power rangers got married in so may different combinations it was like Fleetwood Mac” — Glee

“This whole experience has been so surreal. I never thought I’d be jealous of the long illustrious run that NBC gave “Joey” — Conan O’Brien

“I’m having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today, because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou.” — Sue, Glee

“I trust award shows….they tell me how much to care about specific dead people” — 30Rock

“You had better get rid of all your booby traps by the time we get back from ham shopping”…Wizards of Waverly Place

“Give me chocolate or I will cut you” — Glee

“Honey, don’t take this the wrong way but I have practically no faith in you” – Clare to Phil, Modern Family

“It’s time to eat the sword” — Cougar Town

Danny: First you have to seek to understand before you can be enlightened.   Steve: I will literally pay you cash to stop talking.  — Hawaii Five-0

“She told me that kids that talk during Wheel of Fortune go blind.” — The Middle

“11 hours and 7 minutes into the Parent Teacher Conference I realized what I hate about these meetings….the other parents” — The Middle

“Did you notice how I used three different inks to express three different feelings?” — The Middle

“Hey Brad…look at you… tap dancing on my porch…where the neighbors can see…” — The Middle

“If they find us in these outfits its going to be very bad for the gays” — Mitchell, Modern Family

“Im not stepping on that one — I’m not playing Good Cop-Mom” – Phil, Modern Family

“Remember when I got my Chinese tattoo that was supposed to say “peace” but they wrote “White hooker” instead? — Jenna, 30Rock

“Your new vibe is a double edged sword, like the one Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with” — Jenna, 30Rock

“You know how I deal with stress? I embrace my Spanish roots — Siestas!” – Cougar Town

“Confession may be good for the soul, but it’s a hot lead enema for a marriage” – Two and a Half Men

“we’re both beautiful people, Lance, we’re bound to get jealous sometimes” – Bones

“I thought the bazinga was implied” – Big Bang Theory

“Why am I always being asked to play redicerous characters?” – Tracey, 30Rock

“I heard it from the lady who was playing Bingo down at Our lady of Reluctant Integration” – 30Rockk

“The skeleton appears to have suffered a great deal of damage in the washer ” — Bones

“They only created “The Girly Show” to counteract the flack they got when they aired “The Bitch Hunter” — 30Rock

“Im just a boy trying to bring style back to traveling” – Manny, Modern Family

Gloria: In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons. In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women is when their sons get married. But I’m not like that. — Modern Family

Phil Dunphy: Luke’s not much of a clown fan. 

Cameron Tucker: Really?

Phil Dunphy: Yeah, he never liked ’em.

Cameron Tucker: Has he ever seen a good one?

Phil Dunphy: Has anyone? — Modern Family

“There ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party, because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory” – 30 Rock

“Is this that tv show where the puppets live in the Barrio?” – Dwight watching Sesame Street on The Office

“Big or small, I don’t like rabbits — they always look like they are going to say something, but they never do” – The Big Bang Theory

“Do you think you could make me pretty again?” -Christine   “When were you pretty?” – The Meany Moms

“homogenic = the tendency to look gay in pictures” – Rules of Engagement

“A) I rarely kid, and B) when I do you will know it by my use of the term “Bazinga” — Big Bang Theory

“Grayson is Pursie-whipped…he’s a lady-butler” – Cougar Town

“whoa, whoa, whoa…if we’re going to talk, I have to go get a can of listening juice” – Rules of engagement

“We are going to help you”…”I doubt that – I haven’t figured out how to do it, and I’m smarter than all of you” — Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

“GE brought good things to life…and bad things to Chinese rivers” – 30Rock

“We were meant to settle for each other…I could open cans and kill bugs for you, and you could make me look less gay at work functions” – Michael Sheen, 30Rock

“When you do something crazy after you break up with someone, tell everyone, because eventually someone will out-crazy you and you’ll feel better about yourself” — Tommy Johnagin, LCS, 2010

Michael “I need your undivided attention”   Dwight: “You couldn’t handle my undivided attention” – The Office

“Happy Valentine’s Day, No-one!” — 30Rock

“What we did last night was perfectly natural…like the wind, or not trusting Canadians”…CougarTown

“Oh God, we have unhappy Germans…nothing good has ever come of that”…Better Off Ted

“Either you don’t care at all, or you care 100-and-crazy percent” – Better Off Ted

“My new computer comes with Windows 7….which is more user-friendly than Windows Vista…I don’t like that.” — Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

“I don’t take the high road…the high road leads to Pansyville” – Better Off Ted

“Who are you calling a cootie-queen you lint-licker?” – Orbitz commercial

“When I pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist” – Glee

“Dolphins are just gay sharks” ‘- Glee

“Don’t cry for me Tartine” — 30 Rock

“I think it’s an emotion — like “joy”, or “spicy food” — Better Off Ted

“When the sun goes down and the beer starts flowing, that’s when the really good ideas start happening”…Tom Bergeron, America’s Funniest Videos

“I would like to unsubscribe from whatever it is you’re doing right now” — Better Off Ted

“You need more chardoney….oh, and better chardoney” – Cougar Town

“It’s lonely always knowing what’s correct.” – Better Off Ted

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