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Funniest TV quotes 2009 December 31, 2009

Posted by ronannarbor in TV.
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Here’s my collection of the funniest tv quotes from this season…it’s a great habit – when you hear funny quotes on tv, write them down and go back at the end of the year and see what you have —

“Drama is like gay-men gatorade…It replenishes their electrolytes” – 30Rock

“If I could speak to rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king”…Raj, The Big bang Theory

“The charm of your drug-addled candor knows no bounds” – The Big Bang Theory

“Let us toast your non-idiocy” – Ratatouille

“So ‘suck’ is okay to say now? Cause I have some thoughts on the lunch you packed me today” – Ted’s Daughter, Better off Ted

“It’s perfectly acceptable to cry when your sad…I cry cause others are stupid and that makes ME sad”…Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory 12/07

“As I saw Pam’s big hand coming at my face, my life flashed before me….and I had a hovercar, and a hoverhouse”….The Office

“I think it’s only fair to warn you that I am a Librarian”…The Librarian: Judas Chalice

“Cats refuse to wear sporting apparel…as my sister found out the hard way”…Big Bang Theory

“It gets like a million miles per gallon, and it comes with it’s own case” (Kath and Kim, in reference to Phil’s new Mini)

“Are you being sarcastic? Cause us Canadians have a hard time recognizing it since we don’t have a large Jewish population.” – 30Rock

Jerry Rice on Donny Osmond (DWTS)…”I wish I’ll have that much energy when I’m 82″…

“You’re irritating most of the time, but don’t take that personally”….Glee

“Ritchie joined the handbell choir at school”

“Why, was the Wedgie Club full?” — The New Adventures of Old Christine

“Toronto is just like New York…only without all the stuff” Steve Martin, 30 Rock

“No, No, I didn’t tell anybody – it just got out to the small circle of…everybody”….Worst Week

“I think you will find being my mothers caretaker can be a mixed bag. When she’s in a foul mood, she can be horribly unpleasant…at other times, she’s asleep.”  30 Rock

“Without the crew we’d just be two amazing people succeeding in a vacuum”…30 Rock

“How are you going to find time for all that?…You’re a working mom and a part time alcoholic”….New Adventures of Old Christine

“I’m going to go give him a piece of my mind”

“Oh, no, not the last one!!”  — Old Christine

“I gave it some thought….and it needs another day of thought”   Eli Stone

“No, that response is unacceptable to me” _ Big Bang Theory

“Notify the makers of the Oxford English Dictionary that the word “Plenty” has been redefined to mean “two” — The Big Bang Theory

Penny: “Can I ask you a Question?”

Sheldon: “I would prefer that you not, but I won’t go so far as to forbid it” – The Big Bang Theory

“I don’t want to be that person, but I hate the general spirit of music” – Angela, The Office

“I wrote a little song about our experience…do you want to hear it?”

“Maybe later…but probably not” — Eli Stone

“That could have gone one of two ways”…The Office

“Too many different words coming at me from too many different sentences” — The Office 10/15

H2IK Sequence — “How the Hell do I Know?” – Defying Gravity

“I’m washed up — I’m the chumbawamba of secret agents” – American Dad

“Are we breaking up?

“We can still stay friends….we’ll just see each other less, like never”…commercial

“I thought you might need a drink”

“You have no idea”…Modern Family

“I’m down with the texting….LOL Laughing out Loud…ROTFL Rolling on the Floor Laughing…WTF Why the Face”…Modern Family

“It appears people are afraid of me, which I think is pretty much their problem, but apparently not” – Better Off Ted

“Protesting is a last resort, unless your the French” King of the Hill

“Oh, I’m sorry, that’s not going to interest me at all”…Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory

“Bosses make everything better” — Better off Ted

“I know how you feel. Remember when I wanted to pull my hair out, but I couldn’t because it’s too thick” – jack, 30 Rock

“I spent a month putting the contact list on Michael’s blackberry….which he now uses as a night light”  — The Office

“1991 called, it wants that insult back” – Kath & Kim

“That’s an understandable but not excusable mistake” – Big Bang Theory

“I think it sort of zero percent helped my situation, but maybe 17 percent helped me as a guy” – Kath & Kim

“It’s like talking to a chimp” — Big Bang Theory

“your caught between a rock and a crazy place” — Big Bang Theory

“My door is always open to you…please close it on your way out” – Veronica, Better Off Ted

“If you are trying to hurt my feelings you are succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of the normal man’s.” – The Office

“When will I ever learn…everytime I let a guy take a photo of me in the bathroom it goes bad” – American Dad

“You are a thief of joy” – Michael to Dwight, The Office

“I’m not going to give up that easily. I’m going to make this much more difficult than it needs to be” – Michael, The Office

“It’s better to have loved and lost, than to be you” Pushing Daisies

“Michael gave me his list of the top 10 Bruce Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News” –The Office

“You seem decidedly depressed” Raul Esparza

“I haven’t decided that” Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies

“Ken has some flaws…he has 74 flaws as of yesterday”…Glee

“Good God, What Indigo Girls song is that from?” 30Rock

“I’m not good with emotion”

“What Emotion?”

“All of them” — Pushing Daisies

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