Here it is — my favorite/funniest quotes list of the best of TV 2012 — of course, I haven’t seen every show, but of those I have, here’s the annual list! Enjoy —
“Do you smell that? Fresh cut grass.”
“Well, if its fresh cut its not ours.” — The Middle
“I prepared the clams in the traditional way, and then sampled them, and disposed of them. You can thank me very much.” – Happy Endings
Emma: “Got anything in that bag that can help me with a beanstalk?”
Mulan: “A hook.”
Cpt Hook: “Hey!” — Once Upon a Time
“Pastel walls give me the chills” – The New Girl
“So Mike and Rusty made up, which wasn’t too hard since Rusty didn’t even realize they were in a fight” — The Middle
“I don’t know what you two are up to. I think its amazing. I want no part of it.” — Happy Endings
“This place is so unappealing even I don’t look good here” — 2 Broke Girls
“For heavens sake, change out of those wingtips, your a kid…your not Nixon on the beach” – Modern Family
“You have to outsing Anna!…Do you know “Send in the Clowns?” cause I could help you” — Ben and Kate
“Our community has not yet learned how to modulate baby gifts” — Modern Family
“Robin and Patrice’s BFF Fun Day!” — HIMYM
“Do not fall into the evidence, Hodgins….it will only add to the humiliation” — Bones
“You can’t ask Wil Wheaton to leave…he’s a minor celebrity….once you explain who he is people recognize him” — The Big Bang Theory
“We’ve been laughing all night! (long pause). Except for right now, now its just weird” – Suburgatory
“Haley, this is real life, not an excellent movie” – Modern Family
”The thing I learned from ‘Hoarders’ is that it usually doesn’t end well for the cats” — The Middle
“I figured the best way to talk to Models was just to point to things and label them — this table is round and flat” — The New Girl
“That girl is so whack, her first name should be Knick-Knack-Patty” — Happy Endings
“Neither you, nor Cleveland, knows how to get over someone leaving you” – HIMYM
“Oh Damnit, I forgot to punish Brick”
“He didn’t lick another mailbox, did he?” — The Middle
Becket: “Take your hand off your tool, Marco”
Castle: (snickers)
Becket: “Shut up” — Castle
“A suicidal lemur has got my gun” — American Dad
“Was it great? No…was it good?….no” — Partners
“Twitter is stupid, and Instagram is Twitter for people who can’t read” — 2 Broke Girls
“Why was this more fun when we were kids?”
“Because when we were kids we didn’t have kids” – The Middle
“See, this is why my people spank” — The New Normal
“I don’t know, I’ve always been a bit of a saboteur” — Happy Endings
“Cleanings not her thing, but she has other strengths”
“Em, I don’t see them” — Two Broke Girls
“I am so tired of people using ‘Vanilla Sky’ to defend everything.” — Happy Endings
“I’m not completely secure when I sneeze” –Patsy, AbFab Olympics Special
“No one is going to judge me on my past. Everyone is going to judge me on my cheerleading talent alone.”
“She keeps saying that like its a good thing” — The Middle
“I won’t change too much — I’ll be like the old me, only a little bit different….like a Coldplay album” — Not Going Out
“That sounds like quite an embroglio”…Cougar Town
“If we don’t find that tutu, we’ll have to cut Clara, which will make us look ridiculous” — Bunheads
“Oh, how very Turning Point” — Bunheads
“That rude Roo ruined my room” — Suburgatory
“I’m only an okay storm, I’m not a perfect storm” — Cougar Town
“You are clearly having thoughts….you should go see the Guidance Counselor” — The Middle
”Want to see some real zombies, check out the red carpet at the Tony Awards” — Castle
“I don’t miss the sex…I miss summer in Minsk….I miss smoking in hospitals.” — Two Broke Girls
” I didn’t roll my eyes…I just had to really quickly look at the ceiling” –The New Girl
“Are you a Bond villain? Cause you just told me your whole plan”…The New Girl
“I was gonna help you, but then I didn’t want to”….Don’t Trust the B in Apt 23
“When I get married, I hope I’m just as pregnant as you”…Cougar Town
“How many times have I said I want to do beading?”
“I don’t know…never?” — The Middle
“These shorts are for a younger person, wouldn’t you say?” — Sprint Commercial
“I’m KFC, baby….you don’t mess with the Colonel’s recipe….” — Barney, HIMYM
“Do you know what the worst part of today was?”
“I imagine it’s hard to choose….” — Modern Family
“There’s no availability at the Inn…” – Bones
“Ive never said you are not good at what you do….it’s just that what you do isn’t worth doing….” – Big bang Theory
“I broke my leg while ski-boxing….it’s a sport created by energy drinks” — Happy Endings
“I knew our group would get weird….now I know what it was like to be in ‘No Doubt'” — Whitney
“Usually my hook is that its closing time and I’m there”….The New GIrl
‘OMG, I have been doing this a long time and I have never seen a credit score that low…did you just
wake up from a coma?”….The New Girl
“Dahlia, you can’t just throw Hangover Monkeys at the problem.” — Suburgatory
“Those people were victims of a Fonzie scheme” – Modern Family
“I have tons of wallet chains you can borrow” — Schmidt, The New Girl
“People are talking…okay, it’s mostly us…and that’s usually how it starts…” — Suburgatory
“I love you….I blew up a Chipotle for you!” — 2 Broke Girls
“I do things….I read half a book about Zombies…” – Nick, The New GIrl
“Can I offer you a Swedish Massage….accent optional?”…Phil, Modern Family
“This is a horrible neighborhood…there are youths everywhere.”
“Youths???…Who are you, Officer Krupke?” — The New Girl
“I don’t think its fair for me to be on a jury, because I am a hologram” — 30Rock
“Now she’s cavorting with dwarves? When did THAT happen?” – Evil Queen, Once Upon a Time
“Oh my God, I’ve been using an old hooker’s lipgloss” — Two Broke Girls
“Damn it, I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere” — Schmidt, The New Girl
“Its my fault the dog fell in the pool…I let her out but then got caught up in my couponing” – Manny, Modern Family
“Do you know what’s under that hockey jersey?”
“A Family Guy tattoo?” — Happy Endings
“Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto” – The Big Bang Theory
Mostly Musical Theatre 