Tags: I hate Smash, Smash NBC
If I didn’t know anything about theater, Broadway, or musical theater, here is what I would have taken away from the now-cancelled series SMASH which ended its run last night on NBC:
The girl that doesn’t act, look, sing, or dance like Marilyn will get cast as Marilyn because she was on American Idol.
Everyone lives in the theater district in NYC: nobody drives a car, let alone goes home to New Jersey at the end of the night. All cast members walk to work, they don’t take the subway, busses, taxis, or bikes. Nobody has to take the train home to Flushing, Westchester, or anywhere else for that matter. A few of the cast might live as far away as Dumbo in Brooklyn. They walk there.
The director makes all hiring and firing decisions, and he can decide what you will do on the Tonys without notifying anyone, in fact, he can make any changes he wants even seconds before the performance on live TV.
You can fully cast a multi-million dollar musical before you even have a script and score ready to go (although I guess Motown the Musical might have proven this to be true).
The director sleeps with every woman he wants to cast. Its just the way it goes. In fact the director sleeps with women.
Out of town theaters can become available for a pre-Broadway tryout with one phone call. They can have a full house at the first preview just three days later, including newspaper coverage.
You can move a mediocre off-Broadway show to Broadway, because theaters are instantly available, and you can do so overnight.
When a new director takes over a show, mostly he is in charge of how to make scene changes happen during intermission, and the union crew is available at his beck and call.
The new girl gets the role, even when not right for it, because she has “that certain something”.
A big finish will help them forget what came before — especially when its set to practically the same tune as the finale for Catch Me If You Can.
A major broadway director will drop everything and go to the aide of an unwritten mediocre-at-best Off-Broadway musical because he “believes” in his girlfriend’s judgement.
The Outer Critic awards take place in a small dining room with about 25 guests. Oh, and while we’re at it: you can pick up a dead person’s tickets and use them for your friends at the Tony’s.
Shows and major decisions made about them are influenced entirely by whom is sleeping with whom, because everyone cares about that.
You can add a new number to the show between matinee and evening, and have a complete new set and costumes ready to go for that performance.
Nobody uses body mics, there is no backstage crew, and there is no tech rehearsal necessary to make it just happen. Probably because the new director took care of all of that himself.
If you cast the right people in the leads, everything else will happen by itself. (That is only true in community theater).
If you need a really really really really really big movie star to play your lead on Broadway, bring in Sean Hayes.
You can just fire the best performer in your show (Will Chase) because the book-writer slept with him and the book-writer thinks its a bad idea for him to stick around. The book-writer can bypass union rules to do so, because the book-writer is the most important person in your artistic staff.
Speaking of book and score writing: apparently the shows write themselves because the writers are too busy sleeping around and drinking wine at the local bar. The latter is pre-requisite to take over the role of director for a major multi-million dollar musical.
There are no musical directors on Broadway. Music rehearsals don’t take place, just performance quality scenes, and the Musical Director apparently only conducts the orchestra.
And the coolest thing I learned from Smash….when you win the Tony for Best Musical, you can bring your just-out-of-jail boyfriend on stage with you to accept the award.
SMASH is back, and its as infuriating as ever… February 8, 2013Posted by ronannarbor in Entertainment, musical theater, Musicals, TV.
Tags: Smash (2013), Smash NBC
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Reviewed after screening the first three hours of the new season (NBC has telecast to the first two hours this week).
Well, Smash is back on NBC, and your like (or dislike) of the show will directly relate to a) your ability to tolerate Katharine McPhee, b) your enjoyment of musical theater as a whole, and c) your like/dislike of soap opera.
Here’s the good news — they’ve toned down the ridiculous interpersonal stories for Messing and her husband (even if it does mean we don’t get to see the excellent Brian D’Arcy James anymore this season) and sent their whining son off to boarding school. They’ve also gotten rid of the horrendous scheming plotline for Ellis (goodbye) and enigma Dev (goodbye).
The many Broadway actors that appear in the show, in cameos, in songs, in backgrounds continues to astound — witness Brynn O’Malley’s excellent little scene firing Jack Davenport. Fun, fierce, and Facebook-worthy.
They’ve also brought on the excellent Jennifer Hudson and Jeremy Jordan, and UM’s Andy Mientus to round out a new storyline. In the first three hours, the show absolutely comes to life when Hudson or Jordan sing — and crashes when the old McPhee/Hilty story comes into view.
And the show actually follows the development of a musical more this season, rather than the soap-opera-like antics of supporting characters. How will the money for the production be raised. How will media rumors hinder the development of “Bombshell”, the Marilyn musical (note to producers: Marilyn Monroe is not interesting, and the musical version already bombed on Broadway), and how will distractions of lawsuits and sexual harassment play into the development of the show.
Pasek and Paul (another feel-good UM success story!) provide some new songs that are a notch above the “everything in Bombshell sounds like it was cut from Hairspray” music of last season.
But that is where the good news ends. The show still depends on time-worn cliches more relevant to soap opera than to musical theater, and a lack of reality that is astonishing…that any single producer or artistic staff of any show anywhere would cast the lackluster McPhee in a lead role over the superb Megan Hilty is just television storytelling of the worst kind. The entire storyline rings false from top to bottom. And when you bring in a rising star like Jordan, why saddle it all down with a ridiculous badboy drug-addict subplot…and throw superstar Hudson into another mother (Dreamgirl Sheryl Lee ralph)/daughter conflict subplot. BLECH.
The musical numbers continue to be the shows highpoint — and they are better integrated into the plotline this season; but the ongoing use of near-public-domain pop songs rather than theater songs is disappointing and panders to the American Idol and Glee set.
I say put Bernadette Peters and Sheryl Lee Ralph into a room and let them duke it out.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to see my Broadway folks at work…but I am not a fan of Smash, even though I watch it just to see what jawdropping disaster befalls the cast each week — like watching a train wreck, and enjoying it for what it is. Still, the show is a notch above most primetime soap-opera fare. But that is where it stands. Its not a comedy. Its not a drama. Its a bizarre mix of soap opera and musical theater. And that’s the view from here.
Bunheads on ABC Family is the real deal (Review) May 28, 2012Posted by ronannarbor in Entertainment, Musicals, TV.
Tags: ballerinas, Bunheads, Bunheads ABC Family, dance, Kelly Bishop, Sutton Foster, television musicals
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Set your DVR for June 11th — thats when ABC Family begins airing their new show BUNHEADS — and based on the pilot episode, the show does everything right that SMASH does so wrong week after week.
Broadway’s Sutton Foster stars as a ex-ballerina/Broadway dancer now washed up Vegas Showgirl who impulsively weds a kind middle-aged man who is infatuated with her (Alan Ruck) and they move to his home in seaside Paradise California, where (surprise) he lives with his mother (Kelly Bishop).
Mamma runs a dance school, and is an ex-ballerina herself. The upper-level girls of the same school make up the teenage cast in this (kind of) family friendly show. Like a lot of the fare on ABC Family, it’s suitable for mid-teens and up, but not necessarily for pre-teens. And that’s all the setup you need to know. There’s a major surprise at the end of the otherwise upbeat first episode, and it clearly spells out the direction the show is going to take.
But what is striking here is the writing (storytelling is always a strongpoint for ABC Families original family drama shows). Within one episode, all the major characters, conflicts, wants, and desires of each of the main characters has been spelled out. The musical numbers serve to enhance the show, not detract from it, and its just right.
Opening with a Vegas number (ironically, “Jet Set” from “Catch Me If You Can” — a nod-to or a shot-across-the-bow for Marc Shaiman?), the performances are integrated fully into the script — showgirls dance….ballerinas dance…and in an exquisite sequence in which Sutton teaches a Broadway audition combo, is more humanly realistic than anything on SMASH has been all season.
There is a great cast of young teenage performers, but this is Sutton Foster’s show, make no doubt about that — from sassy showgirl (“I live next door to a hooker”) to fish-out-of-water bride (“Oh, how very Turning Point”). Kelly Bishop plays a delightfully droll and insightful mother-in-law (“If we don’t find that tutu, we’ll have to cut Clara which will make us look ridiculous”) uncovering nuanced layers of her character even in the first episode. Alan Ruck plays a warm, kind, and love-besotten Hubble.
If you are interested in auditioning for Bunheads, the casting information is here: DO NOT READ THIS RELEASE unless you want to see some major spoilers about the first several episodes. Suffice it to say that they are particularly looking for female dancers over the age of 18 that can play 15-17. Filming in LA.
Will America buy “Smash”? – NBC – Pilot episode (review) January 18, 2012Posted by ronannarbor in Broadway Musicals, musical theater, TV.
Tags: Smash NBC, Smash pilot episode review
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Your going to love it or your going to hate it, but there isn’t anyone that will be able to say that SMASH isn’t slick, well-produced, and professional when it comes to musical numbers. It’s no GLEE (thankfully); but will America buy into a show about creating a Broadway show?
In the pilot episode, (to air February 6th), Debra Messing and Christian Borle play musical theater writers/composers/lyricists of a new Broadway musical based on the life of Marilyn Monroe. Those of us of a certain age will remember there actually WAS a Broadway flop musical in the 80′s called Marilyn: A Musical Fable (which Frank Rich called “incoherent to the point of being loony”). That flop is referenced here in passing by Messing’s husband, played by Brian d’Arcy James. He’s the biggest Broadway star in the show – here delegated to a thankless non-singing character.
WIthout having written a script, and with only a song to demo, they somehow get picked up by producer Anjelica Huston, who may or may not have enough money to produce the show. But she’s in it to get back at her in-process divorce from her husband, another Broadway producer. Within the first 15 minutes of the pilot, they suddenly have three songs and a draft of the script (um, yeah)….and by the midway point, they are auditioning director/choreographer Jack Davenport (yes, that Jack Davenport, who has yet to find a suitable role in any U.S. television show — someone please find this man a decent part!) – who is set up to be the antagonist opposite Borle’s writer/composer.
Bring on the auditions — Likable American Idol loser Katharine McPhee and “Wicked” veteran Megan Hilty step up to fill the bill as two actresses competing for the part of Marilyn. Throw in a subplot right out of Dynasty involving director Davenport, and you have the basic makings of SMASH.
The show is designed to follow the workshop development of the show in NYC over the course of the season, and in its climax this spring move to Boston for an out-of-town tryout.
Yes, the show is entertaining. The musical numbers are well-staged, and the use of fantasy sequences to suggest what rehearsal songs might look like “on stage” work well. There is a lot of dancing here, and it is professional and slick, the exact opposite of the haphazard GLEE sequences.
It’s also all overwrought and somehow wrong. Auditioners are not even given three bars of piano-accompanied audition when a full orchestra already sweeps in, as if to say “this is a really big budget show, kinda like Glee, but for adults, so listen and enjoy, and buy our soundtrack.” I have never in my years of theater ever heard of a producer picking up a show based on one song, and no written script. While there is a casting couch at work on Broadway to be sure, it certainly doesn’t work the way its implied in this show either. Messing seems out of place, and Borle here is reduced to a sniping gay stereotype — so good in Legally Blonde and Angels in America on Broadway, here he’s wasted in a part that virtually falls apart before your eyes.
The show is filled with a virtual whose who of Broadway performers — so watch backgrounds carefully to spot your friends. Most are appearing as line-less studio assistants and errand-boys. A few get to dance and sing.
In short, it’s an entertaining pilot, that should keep theater folks arguing about realities vs exaggerations, while the rest of the country makes a decision as to whether a show about Broadway actors, producers, and creative teams will be interesting enough to viewers to keep this novelty going. I’m going to tune in again — albeit the next night since NBC has very unfortunately decided to put the show on opposite Castle and Hawaii-5-0. I suggest they move it pretty fast if they want to pick up a tv audience. I dunno about you, but most of my theater friends watch Castle at that time, and personally 5-0 has become a guilty pleasure. On Comcast, two shows at a time and that’s it — making no room even to DVR Smash…
A word of warning — if you download and view the pilot (free) on iTunes, please DO NOT watch the “coming season” trailer at the end of the pilot episode. If you watch it carefully, it gives away who will get the role, and how the show will develop. Don’t watch it – it’s already partially ruined it for me…if you want a nice insider snapshot of the show, read the Brian d’Arcy James interview on IMDB – he carefully describes what the development of a Broadway musical is really about, and very carefully avoids talking about the unrealistic elements depicted in Smash.
The show has already created a stir in the NYC Broadway community in forums such as All That Chat, where multithread topics discuss the lack of reality of the creation process depicted here, as well as the shear fact that only one of the auditioners for the Marilyn part is appropriate for the role and there is zero doubt who would get that part in reality. I repeat — DO NOT watch the coming season trailer which gives it away and will cause even more controversy when it is revealed a few episodes into the series.
Will America buy it? There are a lot of theater fans out there — if the show avoids the pitfalls of playing for personal drama instead of the inherent drama in the actual development of a show itself, it might stand a chance. But I bet with NBC’s track record this show will quickly veer off in the wrong direction.
Funniest TV Quotes 2011 December 27, 2011Posted by ronannarbor in Entertainment, TV.
Tags: funniest tv quotes 2011
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It’s that time of year again! Granted I have not seen every single minute of every tv show this past year — but its been darn close…So here they are, this year’s Funniest TV quotes….
“I did not know you are not allowed to say “suck it” to security at the airport” – The Middle
Sue: “Dad, you don’t have to medicate with alcohol.” Mike: “Look around, I think I do.” – The Middle
“I told you all about these bells….” – The New Girl
“I have complete faith in you”….”Oh, that’s what everyone says, at first” — Last Man Standing
“Our house is where fun comes to die” — The Middle
Leonard: “Do you think we can outrun him?” Sheldon: “I don’t need to outrun him, I just need to outrun YOU” — Big bang Theory
“Who might be up for a wee bit of mischief?” ”Leprechauns?” — Rules of Engagement
“How long are you going to ignore me?” ”Until the shame cloud clears” — Modern Family
“Hey, what now? – Happy Endings
“Want to play Librarian?….I’ll read and six hours later you tell me the Library is closing” — The Middle
“in my country, its considered really bad luck if the house burns down” – Modern Family
“Ever since Dalia failed her career aptitude test we’ve been working really hard to make sure she has one.” ”A career?” ”No, an aptitude” — Suburgatory
“He’s a total Matthau” — The New Girl
“It’s just that when I hear him say things like “I want a Divorce” and “You Disgust me” I begin to think that something is wrong.” — Rules of Engagement
“Yours is a true Cinderella story. You stayed in the ball for eight weeks, now it’s midnight and it’s time for you to go home.” — DWTS
“Okay, that went a little too far” — Grimm
“At our age it’s not things that make us happy….its cigarettes and booze” — The Middle
“We’re a family and families talk about things” ”No, No they don’t. They ignore them until they go away”….The New Girl
“There are a lot of things I’m not into…I’m not into kale, but it keeps showing up on my dinner plate” — Last Man Standing
“Oh, Heavens to Gretzky!” – Canadian Barney, How I Met Your Mother
“What gave you the idea for my Day of Beauty?” ”All the Other Days” — Rules of Engagement
“There’s something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional” — The Office
“Sweetheart, I would love to be wrong…I just don’t live with the right people for that” — Modern Family
“Next thing you know, there’ll be stop signs at every corner…go ask Canada how that worked out?” — Modern Family
Howard: “Ma, do you mind if Bernadette sleeps over tonight?” Mother’s Voice: “Frankly after all your sleepovers with the little brown boy, a girl is a relief” — Big Bang Theory
“Fiber makes me….sad”…Fiber One commercial
“My circus-like childhood makes the most bizarre things seem normal” – Wizards of Waverly Place
“Lemon, you risked everything for the show that TV Guide once called “Still On”…30Rock
”I want them to share clothes, do each others hair and gossip about boys. Like i did with Mitchell.” ~Claire, Modern Family
“The idea of all of us vacationing together is so bad I’m making up a new word — ‘gagbysmal’ ” — Grayson, Cougar Town
“You are not giving him that…” ”Even if he drinks his other gift first?” — Modern Family
“What’s happening people? Our hubris will be our undoing” – Modern Family
“Why did you bring him, he’s harshing my buzz” – The Big Bang Theory
“Sir, if you say one more syllable, that’s a haiku” — 30Rock
“I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch” — 30Rock
“What is this multi-billion dollar system missing?” ”Multi-billion dollars” — Modern Family
“It’s OK Jack — you made a bad decision and bought something you didn’t understand…like when I bought tickets to “Black Swan” — 30 Rock
“Reese Witherspoon is just a like-able version of me” — Jenna, 30Rock
“I’ve pretty much reached my target weight….the problem is I haven’t yet reached my target height” — Manny, Modern Family
“You pierced Lily’s ears??” ”Did you see both sides? I didn’t just do the gay ear…” — Gloria, Modern Family
“Is it hot in here, big man?” — Better With You
“Number of days without work related injury: 0″ – Mike’s Office, The Middle
“How are we going to take care of that? Look around — this is where things come to break” — The Middle
“It’s America Night, and It’s so good to see Cheryl showing off the Rocky Mountains there” — Len, DWTS
“Should vaginatorium be capitalized?” — 30Rock
“Years from now some of these children will still be talking about the way I Sondheim-ized them.” — Modern Family
“If you pester celebrities long enough eventually they have to notice you”…Mr. Sunshine
“You are a devourer of dreams…You are PacMan in cargo pants…” – Danny to Steve, Hawaii Five-0
“Here we go, your loud and proud, you have your dumplings boiling over” …DWTS Bruno to Wendy Williams
“Dancing is movement to music…well, you did move, and there was music”… DWTS Len to Mike Catherwood
“I need to look good for my party, and I refuse to wear anything in my size or appropriate for my age”…Angie, 30Rock
“We are beyond blotting and rubbing, we’ve moved on to sweating and crying.”…Modern Family
“You want to put me in a Rudy-mindset?” – Perfect Couples
“Oh Dude, Scooby got out.”…HIMYM
“It’s like the Apple Store…without the ethnic diversity” — Outsourced
“I’m fired? Great…this is the CandleShack at the mall all over again.” — Will Forte, HIMYM
“What’s wrong with Canada???…Your milk comes in bags…bags!…and your Pavilion at Epcot doesn’t have a ride!” — 30Rock
“I’ve had three chances. Floyd, then Carol, and I was once in an elevator with Tom Brokaw. And I blew all three… Opportunities!” — Liz, 30Rock
“I could never pretend to love my beautiful daughter, Emily Dickinson the cat.” – Liz Lemon, 30Rock
“My work has been stressful too…I have a big memo due by the end of the month” — The Middle
“He certainly wasn’t a Swiss prostitute that Martha Stewart recommended to me.” — Jack , 30Rock
“I just try to be really really honest with people when I think that they suck” — Glee
“What do your ears hear when we talk??” – Rules of Engagement
“Don’t harsh on Smith, he just bought you all drinks” – Cougar Town
“If I can dance on woodchips at camp, I can dance on Anything!”…The Middle
“It’s not you, its me…thinking you can do it…I’m a tough coach, there’ll be tears…from both of us”…The Middle
“Hey, look at you square dancing in the garage…where the neighbors can see”…The Middle
“What scares you about riding a bike?” ”Losing control and falling down” — Gloria, Modern Family
“Clare was furious….she said I had betrayed her on every level. So I called the florist and ordered a dozen mylar balloons. Good luck staying mad at that” – Phil, Modern Family
“Laser Tag knows no age restrictions…kind of like strippers in the midwest” – How I Met Your Mother
“I have a fire drill tomorrow…If I’m going to keep my hands to myself and line up in an orderly fashion I am going to have to get my sleep” – Brick, The Middle
“Why does fun always have a price?” The Middle
“I want to hear all about Mitchell in High School….did he have a beard?” ”You’re looking at her” — Modern Family
“Why do I have to watch a French movie?….I didn’t do anything wrong”…Phil, Modern Family
Tags: Falling Skies, Noah Wyle, sci-fi, TNT
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If you haven’t tuned into TNT’s “Falling Skies” series, you should give it a try. It’s a family-based drama built around Noah Wyle and his family post-alien invasion, and it’s sort of a mashup of War of the Worlds, Independence Day, and V all rolled into one. A ragtag group of renegades and “fighters” go out to face the aliens who have killed most people, and taken children prisoner to act as servants. It’s all a bit bizarre, really, but it holds together well so far.
I’ve seen three episodes now, and the casting here is terrific. Produced by Steven Spielberg, it has the typical family moments that combine both pathos and humor, and it’s all done straight forward preventing too much camp. There are authoritarian military; mysterious renegades; and a slowly unfolding storyline that is richer than it first appears. Each episode has grown increasingly better.
The CGI work is superb and it really makes you think about how far television effects have come. This is motion picture quality here. If anything, there is a bit too little of it! The creatures are well rendered, but they appear for mere seconds in each episode.
The downfall so far: too much talk. Sure, you need to fill out characters and plotlines in a tv series, but it makes you wonder if this would not have played out better with less talk and whittled down to a 6-hour miniseries rather than a full blown season of tv episodes. Minor characters wax philosophical for five minutes at a time, and it all gets redundant.
Still, its entertaining, and better than most of the tv fare out there this summer. Let’s hope that this one lasts longer than Surface, Invasion and V (to which it has many similarities) and that TNT gives the show a chance unlike NBC and ABC respectively. But we all saw what happened with the superb Defying Gravity last season. Keep your fingers crossed.
Charming “My Future Boyfriend” – ABC Family (review) April 10, 2011Posted by ronannarbor in Entertainment, Movies, TV.
Tags: My Future Boyfriend
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Ok, it’s not “art”, but it’s heartwarming and family friendly (though maybe not for the under 10′s because of the talk of “sex and lust” although it doesn’t show any of it). What it is, instead, is a charming, somewhat predictable, and well-acted movie presented by ABC Family.
Sara Rue and Barry Watson play the conflicted couple here — Barry a fish-out-of-water traveling from the future to find the writer of the book he has found in archeological dig that talks of lust, passion, and love a thousand years earlier. That’s the McGuffin for what ends up being a warm family movie about accepting differences, finding the things you like in others, and finding “the one” that speaks to your own passions.
There are fine supporting performances by Fred Williard and Valerie Harper, and the whole thing has the air of an old-fashioned made-for-tv caper like those many of us grew up with in the 70′s and 80′s. There’s a short sequence with a chase scene in a garage that steals gimmicks, lines, and even car ballet moves from movies you will recall from your youth. It’s not all bad.
But in the end, Barry and Sara’s natural chemistry together is what sparks this above most family made-for-tv fare.
One note: DVR this — the entire movie is about 60 minutes long, but it’s padded by ABC Family to 102 minutes with the added 52 minutes of commercials. DVR and fast forward and you will have yourself a fun hour of easy going sci-fi romantic comedy.
Wash it down with a viewing of “Tangled” on PPV, and you’ll have yourself a dandy date night.
Kyle Bornheimer — Someone please get this guy a good script! January 21, 2011Posted by ronannarbor in Entertainment, TV.
Tags: Beneful Commercial, Kyle Bornheimer, Perfect Couples, Romantically Challenged, Worst Week
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The latest in a rash of really really really bad scripts has at least landed Kyle Bornheimer back on tv…even if Perfect Couples is probably the worst NBC sitcom ever, and I do mean ever…
But at least he’s working.
I don’t know if Kyle’s agent is just really bad, or if there is some sort of lapse decision making process at play here, but this guy should be a television superstar by now. Instead, he’s appeared in such mega-blockbuster’s as “Romantically Challenged” (6 episodes) and “Worst Week” (16 episodes, not all of them aired in Detroit). His best script to date has been a Beneful Commercial. Isn’t that sad?
Now comes the abysmal, and I do mean abysmal, Perfect Couples. If this lasts 6 episodes it will merely be to burn off the initial order of taped episodes. Don’t look for it to be back after the 6 weeks, and possibly disappear before that. I’m not going to even waste another full sentence to try to review the mess…
But enjoy Kyle while you can — he’s charismatic, has perfect comedic timing, and is charming to boot. He’s also the only spark of life in any of the recent sitcoms he has appeared in. Now somebody PLEASE get him a real script in a real show…and then watch his popularity skyrocket.
Primeval returns! Season 4 episode 4.1 – 4.3 (Updated) January 2, 2011Posted by ronannarbor in TV.
Tags: Ciarán McMenamin, Primeval Season 4
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BBC America last night aired the return of “Primeval” for Season 4 — and based on this episode, it’s a far better show than Season 3, which saw Connor and Abbie stranded in the Cretaceous Period, and many of the main characters dead. Remaining are Ben Miller, Ben Mansfield, Andrew Lee Potts, and Hannah Spearritt. There’s a new team leader, a computer whiz, and a mysterious man.
In one of the most drastic cast-overhauls I have witnessed on a returning series, I am happy to report that all is well in Primeval-land so far. The new cast mixes in the humor of Series 1, with a new added grittiness reminiscent of Fox’s 24.
Without giving away any major spoilers — Connor and Abbie return and are a couple, there’s another great dinosaur chase sequence, and the drama has been re-established. The special effects are also a notch better than past episodes (especially compared to Season 3′s terrible green-screen work).
I was afraid that Primeval was a series that was better left for dead — but the return indicates there is some spark in this show yet. The only major surprise? That American tv has not yet already purchased and remade the show for American audiences. Witness Being Human on SyFi starting this week.
UPDATED: The new Series 4 of Primeval continues it’s superior entertainment – Ciarán McMenamin as team-leader Matt is as good as you could want, and the entire cast has really come into its own — but the thing that differentiates this season from those previous is the superb CGI work. It’s amazing. Watch the show and you will be hooked.
2010 Funniest TV quotes December 18, 2010Posted by ronannarbor in Entertainment, TV.
Tags: 30 Rock, AFV, Better off Ted, Bones, Conan O'Brien, Cougar Town, Funniest tv quotes 2010, Glee, Hawaii Five-O, Last Comic Standing, Modern Family, Orbitz, Rules of Engagement, The Big Bang Theory, The Middle, The New Adventures of Old Christine, The Office, The Wizards of Waverly Place, Two and a Half Men
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Here they are! 2010′s funniest tv quotes. Granted I haven’t seen every single show out there, but of those that I have, here are my favorite of the year.
“Together we’re like Ghandi….I’m Skinny, and your Tan” — Better Off Ted
“Leonard, wake up, you are missing many excellent super-hero quips” — The Big Bang Theory
“I’m not really necessary. The last time I said that, I was in a three-way with two of the Backstreet Boys” — Jenna, 30Rock
“The Parade was excellent…Angela Lansbury was the Grand Marshal. Good Times, she Wrote.” — Phil, Modern Family
“Oh, you’re exquisite….you must let me paint you” — How I Met Your Mother
“The microwave is for pizza rolls…the oven is for bulky storage!”…The Middle
“My power rangers got married in so may different combinations it was like Fleetwood Mac” — Glee
“This whole experience has been so surreal. I never thought I’d be jealous of the long illustrious run that NBC gave “Joey” — Conan O’Brien
“I’m having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today, because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou.” — Sue, Glee
“I trust award shows….they tell me how much to care about specific dead people” — 30Rock
“You had better get rid of all your booby traps by the time we get back from ham shopping”…Wizards of Waverly Place
“Give me chocolate or I will cut you” — Glee
“Honey, don’t take this the wrong way but I have practically no faith in you” – Clare to Phil, Modern Family
“It’s time to eat the sword” — Cougar Town
Danny: First you have to seek to understand before you can be enlightened. Steve: I will literally pay you cash to stop talking. — Hawaii Five-0
“She told me that kids that talk during Wheel of Fortune go blind.” — The Middle
“11 hours and 7 minutes into the Parent Teacher Conference I realized what I hate about these meetings….the other parents” — The Middle
“Did you notice how I used three different inks to express three different feelings?” — The Middle
“Hey Brad…look at you… tap dancing on my porch…where the neighbors can see…” — The Middle
“If they find us in these outfits its going to be very bad for the gays” — Mitchell, Modern Family
“Im not stepping on that one — I’m not playing Good Cop-Mom” – Phil, Modern Family
“Remember when I got my Chinese tattoo that was supposed to say “peace” but they wrote “White hooker” instead? — Jenna, 30Rock
“Your new vibe is a double edged sword, like the one Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with” — Jenna, 30Rock
“You know how I deal with stress? I embrace my Spanish roots — Siestas!” – Cougar Town
“Confession may be good for the soul, but it’s a hot lead enema for a marriage” – Two and a Half Men
“we’re both beautiful people, Lance, we’re bound to get jealous sometimes” – Bones
“I thought the bazinga was implied” – Big Bang Theory
“Why am I always being asked to play redicerous characters?” – Tracey, 30Rock
“I heard it from the lady who was playing Bingo down at Our lady of Reluctant Integration” – 30Rockk
“The skeleton appears to have suffered a great deal of damage in the washer ” — Bones
“They only created “The Girly Show” to counteract the flack they got when they aired “The Bitch Hunter” — 30Rock
“Im just a boy trying to bring style back to traveling” – Manny, Modern Family
Gloria: In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons. In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women is when their sons get married. But I’m not like that. — Modern Family
|Phil Dunphy: Luke’s not much of a clown fan.
Cameron Tucker: Really?
Phil Dunphy: Yeah, he never liked ‘em.
Cameron Tucker: Has he ever seen a good one?
Phil Dunphy: Has anyone? — Modern Family
“There ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party, because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory” – 30 Rock
“Is this that tv show where the puppets live in the Barrio?” – Dwight watching Sesame Street on The Office
“Big or small, I don’t like rabbits — they always look like they are going to say something, but they never do” – The Big Bang Theory
“Do you think you could make me pretty again?” -Christine ”When were you pretty?” – The Meany Moms
“homogenic = the tendency to look gay in pictures” – Rules of Engagement
“A) I rarely kid, and B) when I do you will know it by my use of the term “Bazinga” — Big Bang Theory
“Grayson is Pursie-whipped…he’s a lady-butler” – Cougar Town
“whoa, whoa, whoa…if we’re going to talk, I have to go get a can of listening juice” – Rules of engagement
“We are going to help you”…”I doubt that – I haven’t figured out how to do it, and I’m smarter than all of you” — Sheldon, Big Bang Theory
“GE brought good things to life…and bad things to Chinese rivers” – 30Rock
“We were meant to settle for each other…I could open cans and kill bugs for you, and you could make me look less gay at work functions” – Michael Sheen, 30Rock
“When you do something crazy after you break up with someone, tell everyone, because eventually someone will out-crazy you and you’ll feel better about yourself” — Tommy Johnagin, LCS, 2010
Michael “I need your undivided attention” Dwight: “You couldn’t handle my undivided attention” – The Office
“Happy Valentine’s Day, No-one!” — 30Rock
“What we did last night was perfectly natural…like the wind, or not trusting Canadians”…CougarTown
“Oh God, we have unhappy Germans…nothing good has ever come of that”…Better Off Ted
“Either you don’t care at all, or you care 100-and-crazy percent” – Better Off Ted
“My new computer comes with Windows 7….which is more user-friendly than Windows Vista…I don’t like that.” — Sheldon, Big Bang Theory
“I don’t take the high road…the high road leads to Pansyville” – Better Off Ted
“Who are you calling a cootie-queen you lint-licker?” – Orbitz commercial
“When I pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist” – Glee
“Dolphins are just gay sharks” ‘- Glee
“Don’t cry for me Tartine” — 30 Rock
“I think it’s an emotion — like “joy”, or “spicy food” — Better Off Ted
“When the sun goes down and the beer starts flowing, that’s when the really good ideas start happening”…Tom Bergeron, America’s Funniest Videos
“I would like to unsubscribe from whatever it is you’re doing right now” — Better Off Ted
“You need more chardoney….oh, and better chardoney” – Cougar Town
“It’s lonely always knowing what’s correct.” – Better Off Ted